I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
