I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone shattered a urinal.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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