Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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