One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
