So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
