So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
