Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
