so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
