Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
