This is not my ceiling
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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