Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
