what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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