Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
