could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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