Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize