i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
