You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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