I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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