My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
