; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do vagina's smell?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
