you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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