1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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