i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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