Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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