I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
