I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
