the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
