Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
