from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
