I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
