your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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