i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
