Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
