Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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