Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
