Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
