Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
