I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
