What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
