My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
