if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
