I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
