On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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