where's my purse there's an important taco in it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
