addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
