got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
