Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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