one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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