five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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