Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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