I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
