call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
