oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
