i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
