For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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