I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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