So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
