I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
