ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
