Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
