Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
