I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize