God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
