At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
