Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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