i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
