She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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