Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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