i just google imaged poop.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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